You’ve spent months preparing for birth, learning that the key is to listen to your body. And when it comes time to push your baby out, your midwife/doctor is telling you your body is lying to you??? This can be so discouraging and confusing. It's physically impossible to hold back when your body starts pushing your baby down, but most mums will try because they're being told to and they want to trust their care givers.
For a moment you thought you had it, you thought you were about to meet your baby. And now you're fighting against your body, doubting yourself and finding everything so much more difficult. This is not helping your baby either, and they are more likely to get stressed, which will then result in interventions to speed their arrival. Makes no sense, don't you think? The good news is you don't have to do any of this. The idea that anyone else should give you permission to start pushing is 100% wrong and unnecessary.
How can anyone else know what you feel and need to do when birthing your baby?
Imagine really needing the loo and someone telling you to stop, that you're not ready yet, that they will tell you when it's time...how would that go?
Your cervix does NOT have to be fully dilated for you to push. Your body is not lying, it’s guiding you. It’s telling you it’s time to help your baby down. This can happen once your cervix is fully out of the way or before. It's different for everyone and it does not matter! If you start pushing and they ask to check your cervix, you can simply say No. This will save you from an intrusive, uncomfortable examination, and it will prevent professionals from forming an opinion and interfere more in the process. Stay in the zone and keep doing your thing, mama.
I could tell you so many stories of just how wrong this myth is and the damage professionals can cause when they practice this way! I was one of those midwives, and I made some mistakes thinking I was helping those mums. Thankfully I learned to do better and now I also have so many beautiful stories of mamas who trusted their bodies and were supported and respected as the true expert in the room. Midwives and doctors have been taught this myth for decades, they’re doing what they think is best, but don’t fall for it, mama! Nobody knows how your baby is moving and rotating inside of you. Nobody knows how quickly your cervix will open and let baby down.
You are the one feeling it all. Don't doubt yourself, mama! You are the only one who truly knows what to do! Trust yourself, your body and your baby!
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